"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING me?" Tony gives Joey the direst look. Joey, average looking dark hair man in his mid thirties who is always scheming to make a few extra bucks, is sitting there with a dumbstruck look and Ralphie, not the brightest out of the bunch, is also very shocked. All three can't believe what they have just witnessed, and from the look on their faces, this is the worst thing in the world that could have happened.
"Joey, I could fucking kill you right now." All three of them just sit there staring at the TV as they show the replay. Tony, who is sick, and can't look at it again, "not once but they have to torture me with the fucking replay?" The commentator is going over the play as the TV is showing the football sailing beautifully through the goalpost. The crowd in the bar explodes each time they show it. Everyone is celebrating except for Tony, Joey, and Ralphie.
Tony is still pissed off and shaking his head. He is a tall good-looking man in his mid thirties, very well dressed. He is the smartest one of the three but right now, he feels like a dumb ass for listening to Joey and his stupid predications.
They walk out of the bar and the streets are crowded with people. The Feast of San Gennaro is going on. Joey can't help but stop and smell the sizzling sausages. Tony smacks him in the head, "Move it or I will make you into a sausage." The crowd is loud and everyone is having a good time.
There is a stage set up in the middle of the block. Pretty girls and tough guys are standing around watching waiting for the next wanna be star to come up and perform. T-Bone, a hip-hop rapper, who is a legend in his own mind, tries to work the crowd tirelessly. The crowd just doesn't quite get him but that doesn't stop T-Bone, he is determined and is pushing onto the stage even though he senses it could get ugly. Tony cuts through the crowd and past the performing T-Bone with Joey and Ralphie on his tail like puppies. Ralphie and Joey stop for a second, look at T-Bone, then race by up to Tony. Joey turns to Tony,
"So what are we going to do?"
Tony just keeps walking, "I'm not talking to you, Joey."
"You're not talking to me, what the hell are you talking about?" Ralphie is behind Joey.
"He's not talking to you Joey."
"I heard what Tony said Ralphie, why the hell aren't you talking to me?"
Tony just keeps walking. "If I told ya, then I'd be talking to ya."
Ralphie cannot help but let out a chuckle, "that makes sense."
"How would you know if that makes sense, Ralphie you're retarded?"
Tony stops dead in his tracks. Joey and Ralphie slam on the brakes. Ralphie was still upset about what Joey has said.
"Hey, you ain't supposed to use that word."
Tony looks at Joey, "The only retard here is you Joey."
"Guys, that word retard," Ralphie is getting really pissed off.
"How am I a retard Tony?"
"Guys, really, times have changed."
"Joey you wanna know how you are a retard, The Giants."
"What?"
"Only a retard--"
"Whoa! The word retard, come on already you know I hate that word."
"Would bet against The Giants, only a severe retard would bet fifty thousand dollars." Tony starts picking up steam. "Only a stoned out of his mind retard would get his best friend, who by the way is marrying his sister, involved in another one of his retarded schemes." Ralphie has had enough.
"Okay, if I hear that word one more time, I'm going to have to put my foot in someone's ass."
Tony looks at Joey. "I thought I told you. No more schemes, no more short cuts, no more!"
"But I thought it was a sure thing. I had inside info. The Giants were supposed to win."
"Fuck Joey it's always a sure thing with you! You always have it in the bag and at the end we all get screwed, AND by thirty? What the fuck were you thinking Joey?"
"Yea, by thirty, Ralphie was there he heard it too." Tony looks at Ralphie.
"Yeah, the other fucking retard."
"OH! I heard it with my own ears."
"No, no, no! Not only did they not win by thirty, they lost by a field goal, a freaking goal, three points, and now we are in the hole for fifty, fifty thousand dollars. Life is not supposed to be like this, life is supposed to be--" Suddenly something catches Tony's eye, "Shit!"
On the far street corner, a rough, tough looking guy in a jogging suit appears with a scowl. Joey and Ralphie now see the man who is coming towards them.
Joey looks at Tony, "He doesn't look so friendly."
Tony gives Joey the direst look, "Oh, you think so?" Tony, Joey and Ralphie hang a quick right on Hester. Flying around the corner, Tony and the guys stop dead in their tracks, with a look of horror on their faces. They realize the rough looking guy is racing towards them but this time he's with two rougher looking goons who are also in track suits. By the looks on their faces, they have some serious intentions. Ralphie looks at Tony with a scared but sarcastic look on his face.
"Maybe they just want to talk."
"What a--?" and before Tony could finish the sentence Joey does it for him.
"RETARD"
"Hey!"
Tony and Joey grab Ralphie and race back down Mott Street towards Canal Street. They cause traffic by running across the street, car horns are blaring and tires screeching. The rough looking guy and the two goons are right on their tail as they run across the busy street. Tony and the boys run into a Chinese curio shop, they try to disguise themselves with straw hats and Chinese robes. The three goons look around and spot their targets. Tony realizes they are caught, and they dash through the crowd in the shop and head out the back door. As they are running, Tony is cursing, and vows never to listen to this son of bitch ever again. Poor Joey can't help but think this is his fault.
Tony screams at him, "It is your fault, you fucking idiot! If I would've minded my business I wouldn't be doing this work out right now."
Ralphie, trying to get his mind off the goons, says to Tony, "Cardio is the best work out." Tony shakes his head; "how did I get stuck with these fucking retards?" Racing down the cobblestone alley, Tony and the guys strip off their robes and hats and run for their lives. As the cars and truck horns blast once again, Tony, Joey and Ralphie, race across Canal Street and up Elizabeth Street. Flying up the street, Tony, Joey and Ralphie, are almost home, when out of a doorway steps out Sal. Sal is a tall big guy in his forties. He's a rough looking character and always wears a suit. Sal was blocking the doorway, eating an apple, just waiting for the boys to show up. He smiles when he sees Tony and the guys, who stop dead in their tracks. They finally realized the race was over.
Sal smirks, "Tony, Joey and Ralphie just the guys we wanted to see."
Tony looks around and sees the guy with the two goons who have their bats ready. He looks back at Sal who takes a deep breath and wags a finger at all three of them.
"Hey, you guys weren't going to leave were you?"
Tony takes a deep breath as Joey and Ralphie try to catch their breath from all the running. "No Sal, we would never." Tony looks at his boys and they turn around and run across the street sideways, bursting through the doors of a pet store. The store is full of barking dogs, meowing cats, and for some reason, at least six miniature horses.
Joey stops and looks at Ralphie, "what the fuck is that?"
They continue to run when a screaming woman tries to stop them but Tony and the guys keep hauling, heading to the back door as the birds fly out.
On the stage, T-Bone is now in a fight for his life! As he tries to rap, shoes, food, and anything that can be thrown, is flying at him. He keeps ducking and rapping, knowing no matter what the show must go on. Tony, Joey and Ralphie, dash through near riotous crowd and by T-Bone heading for the doorway of an Old Italian Coffee Shop across the street. Sal and the boys are still on their trail as they come out flying out of the pet store with feathers flying all over them. Tony sees them coming and continues to run into the coffee shop when suddenly they stop dead in their tracks. The coffee shop is your typical Italian set up. You have your gangsters drinking their espresso and playing cards. The older ones where telling wild stories to the young and new gangsters. It has black tinted windows so you couldn't see in. The bartender is cleaning the glasses as Tony and the boys walk in. They all stop and look at the boys. Tony not knowing what to say finally speaks.
"This isn't Starbucks is it?"
Sal and his crew are standing behind Tony and the guys;
"No, No it's not. Don Luciano wants to see you."
