BEFORE I FORGET

Before I Forget is the biographical memoir of Charles Zapiec, a Penn State All-American linebacker who, after college, played professional football in the NFL and the CFL.

Known as Charles, Chuck, The Big Z, or Mongo, his story details his football career with highlights from his undefeated seasons at Penn State in 1969-71. It also provides the reader with a behind the scenes look into Joe Paterno’s first years of coaching and the infamous controversy that ended Paterno’s illustrious career. Chuck’s personal stories bring the game's extreme demands into focus and describes the different requirements for a college and a professional career, with descriptions of the different leadership styles of the coaches he played for (arguably some of the era’s greatest, including Joe Paterno, Marv Levy, Don Shula, and Tom Landry).

The book also aims to enlighten readers about the risks faced by retiring football players by providing an overview of the debilitating disease now known to adversely affect many former players, Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy or CTE. Chuck’s memoir depicts the initial, subtle indicators of his decline and the eventual, startling effects of this heart-breaking disease.

Ultimately, Chuck (with the help from his partner, Debbie) raises a number of important questions about the pursuit of a career in football.

What determines why one boy's athletic dreams come true while so many others fail?

What psychological factors enable a man to endure in such a brutal sport?

And finally, were the highs of his football career worth the lows caused by this debilitating disease. Ultimately the memoir prompts the reader to answer the searing question - Are the rewards of football worth the cost?

On a sunny fall day in State College, a record-breaking crowd of fans has assembled for Penn State's opening game against the Naval Academy. Now a sophomore, I’ve been waiting for this day for my whole life, the first time I am eligible to play varsity in college. It’s a dream come true. I can hear the sound of the band and see the cheerleaders waving pom-poms in front of us, while we wait for the signal from Joe Paterno. When Coach raises his arm and takes off, we charge the field. The roar of the crowd is unbelievable! What a rush, like a bolt of electricity. Believe me, it’s a feeling I will never forget.

How many fans did Beaver Stadium hold then?

It was close to 50,000 in 1968. Beaver Stadium holds over 100,000 now. Over the years they kept expanding it.

Were your parents in the stands for your first game?

Of course. They never missed a home game, neither did my two older sisters, who were Penn State students at the time. My whole family knew how hard I’d worked to make the team, just like every other guy taking the field in a uniform. No one makes a college team at that level that hasn’t spent the better part of his youth pushing himself physically and mentally. Football is a brutal sport on the body and the mind. I doubt that most players haven’t thought about quitting at some point. All the guys who suited up that day had stuck it out, so they were more than eager to have their shot.

But not everybody who wears the uniform gets a shot. Did you think Paterno would put you in the game?

Well, I had spent my freshman year wondering if he would. You see, in 1967 according to NCAA regulations, freshmen were not eligible to play varsity football. That system meant that the freshman squad played against the varsity as a scout team, running the plays of the next opponent’s team. We became sacrificial lambs all week before the upcoming game. Talk about suicide drills!!!

Upperclassmen had no respect for freshmen. They would beat the freshman opposing offensive lineman with forearm shivers and otherwise illegal head slaps. Every play run in practice was live between the tackles. No tackling of the running backs and no touching the quarterback, but every other position was live, or, as the coaches called it “thud”.